According to AllGreatQuotes.com, there are hundreds of pithy, insightful, meaningful and funny quotes about boys. Why not? They’re just about half of the planet’s population, so there should be something that can be said about them. Joseph Heller, author of Catch 22, said “When I grow up, I want to be a boy.” Plato said, “Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.” But James Matthew Barrie, the creator of Peter Pan, said “What is genius? It is the power to be a boy again at will.” And that is our starting point for this list of Christmas gifts for boys.
Strictly speaking, the dictionary definition of “zany” is “amusingly unconventional and idiosyncratic.” Applied to a boy, you can round the edges on that even more by saying “A boy is often like a puppy. Is almost always earnest, even when he’s getting into mischief he didn’t know he was getting into.”
Kooky means “strange or eccentric.” This definition, alone, has all the warmth of a lizard. Apply it to a boy and it’s more like, “Look at that kid! He is one funny, kooky kid!”
Zany & Kooky Christmas Gifts
It is with these definitions in mind that we set out to identify some gifts that would be good for the boy. That the puppy would like. That would enable the recipient to engage in pre-approved mischief and, because it’s Christmas, not suffer the consequences that normally greet a boy who has made a “bonehead move.” (We will not require you to read any more of our etymological musings.) The fact is that starting a list of Christmas gifts with “zany & kooky” and applying that Christmas list to boys, well, it’s a no-brainer. You know the kinds of things that boys like to find under the tree. Or, at least, we know what they do. Because we are, at heart, still a boy: sometimes for better or for worse. But we like gifts and we really like all the stuff on our list of the Top 20 Best Zany & Kooky Christmas Gifts for Boys.
SSQ: Stocking Stuffer Quotient
One more note about the list: at the end of each entry, we’ve included the gift’s “stocking stuffer quotient.” That is, can the gift be shoved into a Christmas stocking? Sometimes the stocking stuffer is at the top of a Christmas shopping list, so we’re just letting you know which toys are stuffable, as it were. And now, onward to zany, kooky, weird, funny toyland!
1. Ninja Farts Cotton Candy
We begin the list with what is arguably the funniest thing a boy has ever thought of or, perhaps more likely, will ever think of: the f**t. When you talk about weird gifts, or zany gifts, this one is right on the money. And it isn’t a lot of money: just $7.50 and you’ll be the kid’s hero. And just what is a “Ninja Fart,” you ask? It’s cotton candy. Gluten free, blue, delish, good-old-fashioned cotton candy. Perhaps the Ninja Fart is not the kind of fart that the boy you’re buying for will buy into. Maybe he’ll dig the Snowman Poop. Alas, the Snowman Poop is nothing more than cotton balls, but it’s got that holiday swerve. Or you can take a look at a couple of the suggestions in our second entry on the list. Be sure to suggest to the kid: “When you offer someone a Ninja Fart, remember to say ‘excuse me’ before you politely interrupt and ask them if they’d like a fart.” The package is 9×6 inches. SSQ: Def.
2. The Farting Animals Coloring Book
Before you think this gift list is somewhat scatalogical or, at the very least, flatulent leaning, consider this: The Farting Animals Coloring Book will provide an entry into an engaging discussion about climate change with the young recipient. True. The methane released by cattle — okay, when they *burp* — has a significant and surprisingly strong effect on the earth’s ozone layer. But let that deep conversation come down the road. First, just let the kid get some laughs from this funny coloring book. It’s billed thusly: “Cute and Funny!” and “Farts Are Funny!” We do not disagree. And, more importantly, the recipient of this gift will think it’s a great gift because he thinks farts are funny. Why? Because he’s a boy. The 44 page coloring book is full of pictures of farting meerkats, dogs, hippos, giraffes, pandas and more. A great add on gift would be the Crayola 152 crayon set. Another great add on — and keeping in the animal kingdom theme — would be a Bag of Reindeer Farts or a Bag of Unicorn Farts. Like the first gift on our list, these are fun bags filled with cotton candy. And now, we move from Number Two (honestly, we’re done with these kinds of gifts) onto other sophisticated gift giving ideas. SSQ: Probably not.
3. Practical Jokes Kit
When I was a kid living in the thriving (not) metropolis (not) of Winnemucca, Nevada, we’d take the occasional road trip to visit family in Carson City. On the way back home, we’d pull in at a roadside stop called “Stuckey’s,” near the also thriving (way not) town of Imlay. And in this “Stuckey’s” there was a repository of items that made my young heart sing…and cry. It was a big display full of stuff like the items in this Practical Jokes Kit. Heart would sing: I loved all these things and wanted one of each. Heart would cry: I never had a dime and my mom wouldn’t buy me any. She was mean (not). Okay. Enough of memory lane. Here in the present: I still want these things! And what boy wouldn’t? It’s a pack of practical jokes!
Hot Pepper Candy
Squirting Gum or Flower
Bug Sandwich Bags
Broken Cell Phone
See?! Now YOU want this pack! Please, for the love of what’s right: get this gift for a boy. Get it for a girl. Get it for a woman, get it for a man. Whatever you do, get it! Make dreams come true, including mine. P.S. This gift, from Forum Novelties, is for kids 6 years old and up. (Way up.) SSQ: Possible, but 16 items is a lot of stocking stuffers.
4. Can You Imagine Changeable Drink Hat
Can You Imagine
This gift may require an accompanying note: Dad, not for you. This is the old classic hat-with-straw-and-soda-can-holder. It’s at a great discount right now, at 34 percent off. The hat is hard plastic and it’s full of holes so the straw connectors — there are 25 of them — can be placed wherever desired. That way, the kid can make any straw set up possible. The straw is clear flexible tubing that lets you see the liquid coming up, through and around the bends. Includes an end clip so there aren’t any liquid catastrophes. Can holder holds a standard 12 ounce can. What is in that can is up to the kid (parental discretion optional). SSQ: No way.
Price: $9.89 (34 percent off MSRP)
5. No Talking Pens
A gift appropriate for the shy boy or the boisterous boy. With the simple press of a button, the pens talk through the little loudspeaker on the end. In this case, they say three things:
“I said no!”
“Ummm, yeah. No!”
The pens are blue, red and black and the ink color matches the pen. They each require batteries, which are included. And you can replace the battery as needed. Say yes to these No Pens. Of course, if you say no to these No Pens, you may want to say yes to the “Blah, blah, blah” Pen which, as you may have guessed, says “Blah, blah, blah” when its button is pressed. It actually says “blah, blah, blah” in two ways: an angry “blah, blah, blah” and a singing “blah, blah, blah.” As for age appropriateness, the manufacturer says the No Pen is for ages 12 and up while the Blah Pen is for eight years old and up. Why the difference, we don’t know. Perhaps we’ve said too much. SSQ – Very High.
6. Bacon Lip Balm
What better way for a boy to moisturize his lips than with bacon? The flavor…the smell…the very thought of it is great to a kid, kooky and/or zany and/or gross to most everyone else. This is a standard sized lip balm with a twist bottom that dispenses the aromatic lip balm. It tastes like bacon and smells like bacon. As the manufacturer, Accoutrements, says: “You can keep your lips moist and meaty around the clock.” To take this porcine principle even further, how about:
It’s a bacony world and, if it’s not, it will be once you’ve given these gifts. SSQ: High.
7. Booger Bin
We will be the first to admit that this is probably the grossest thing we’ve ever seen. We will also assert that, being uber-gross, it is sure to be a funny gift and a hit with a boy. The Booger Bin is a…bin…that has a removable lid. Inside the bin (which is like an old school shoe polish tin) is a felt pad. According to the Booger Bin people, the felt pad inside is “to wipe your boogery finger” in. There’s a second pad that is on the bottom of the bin and this allows you to Velcro the bin securely to the other piece of included Velcro. More details from the nose pickers at Booger Bin: “(It’s a) low profile tin bin so you can carry it in your pocket from the…chair to your office. Water resistant labeling on the top of can just in case it gets boogered.” They are clever people, those Booger Bin people. Their motto is “Don’t Flick It, Bin It!” One tiny point we’d like to make: the photo shows two Booger Bins, but just one is included in each order. That said, if the boy you’re buying for needs more than one Booger Bin, it seems that there are bigger issues to tackle than how many Booger Bins come in a package. SSQ: Grotesquely High.
8. EzyRoller Classic Ride On
What boy doesn’t want a go-kart? Or something like a go-kart, even if it is, like the EzyRoller, human powered. The EzyRoller Classic certainly fits the bill when you’re talking about Christmas presents for boys. This Christmas gift for boys has a bit of kooky in it because it’s odd looking. According to the people at EzyRoller, it’s irresistible: “It’s an addiction to the motion. Like a fish through water or a snake on land, EzyRoller works off an instinctive reptilian movement in all of us. Sitting low to the ground with hands free, the body shouts orders and the legs and feet answer, pushing back and forth against a foot bar.” Whether or not you agree that there is some existential quality to this gift, it’s a good bet it will be a big hit. EzyRoller says the Classic Ride On is for anyone from 4 to 40 years old, but the weight limit is 150 pounds. The steel frame comes with two steel extensions so the Classic can be adjusted as the rider grows. Frame is 28” to 39” long, 17.6” wide and 13.5” tall. Weighs 12.8 pounds. Comes in a wide variety of colors, but some colors have limited availability. SSQ: Zero.
9. Threeking Smart Robot
At 48 percent off, this is a great discount on this Christmas present for boys, which is billed as an “intellectual gesture control robot.” That means that the robot can be trained to move based on gestures made toward it. The robot stands around a foot high. It weighs less than two pounds. It runs off one lithium polymer battery, which is included. Besides the gesture control, the company, Threeking, says the robot features “patrol and obstacle avoidance, singing and dancing, intellectual programming, auto display” and LED eye lights. Threeking also says the robot “can be programmed to carry out movements as you create.” We’re thinking this is the “intellectual programming” they’re talking about. The robot has wheels on the bottom of its feet. The manufacturer says it’s for ages 6 and up. Comes with a remote control unit (battery required and NOT included) and a charging cable. SSQ: if it’s a big, big stocking, the package might fit.
Price: $46.99 (48 percent off MSRP)
10. 4M Doodling Robot
Staying in the robot vein, this is certainly part kooky gift, part zany gift and part just a good Christmas present for boys. The 4M Doodling Robot is an odd looking “three legged” robot wherein the legs are actually markers. 4M makes educational toys and the company asserts that this one is particularly good for “those with an interest in robotics.” It uses vibration and spin generated by its motor and creates “works of art.” The easily adjustable leg clips can be positioned in a variety of ways, with each adjustment resulting in a different design as the robot doodles away. It’s recommended for kids 8 and up. Includes the robot, three pens and assembly instructions. A battery is required and is NOT included. SSQ: Maybe. It’s 6x6x6 inches and weighs 10.6 ounces, but the packaging is probably too big.
11. You’re Busted Ticking Time Bomb Party Card Game
This is an interactive card game that’s bound to please the younger ones out there. With this Christmas present for boys, the player holds the “Balloon Bomb” while completing his mission card as quickly as possible. If the bomb goes off, that player has to wear the Hat of Shame and is out of the game until the next time the bomb goes off. Some of the missions are “Name 10 states in the U.S.” or “High five all players” or “Hop 10 times with one hand on your head.” The game contains:
Balloon timer base
50 mission cards
Hat of Shame
This one is for four-plus players, kids 8 and up. A great family game. SSQ: nope.
12. Screwball Scramble Game
Another “race against the clock” game like the one above. This kooky gift requires the players to maneuver a marble through a zany obstacle course. The marble travels through hoops and tubes, over wires, down holes, etc. It can be played against another opponent or can be played alone, against the clock. It’s for kids 5 and up and will help with hand-eye coordination. SSQ: none. Another option is a bigger game, that involves more “construction” on the players’ part, is the Battop Marble Run Construction Set.
13. Yodeling Pickle
ou want to buy a kid a zany gift or a weird gift? It doesn’t get much better than the Yodeling Pickle. As the seller, Accoutrements, says: “Hours of mindless entertainment.” What is it? It’s a 5.25” plastic battery operated pickle that yodels. Just push the button, and the pickle yodels. You could go full yodel on this gift and get the kid his own Lederhosen. Or you could add a yodeling bacon. About the pickle, here’s another bon mot from Accoutrements: “You’ll think you’re in the Swiss Alps listening to a yodeling pickle.” The batteries are included. Accoutrements says the Yodeling Pickle is for ages 13-to-17. Being a proponent of the arts, we believe that, perhaps, younger kids may benefit by being introduced to the art of yodeling…via a pickle. Color: green. SSQ: yes!
14. Remote Control Mouse
A weird gift for boys that almost has it all: a race car factor and an icky factor. Okay, the Allytech remote controlled mouse doesn’t go like a race car, but you get the idea. And it’s not really icky. The mouse is kind of nice looking, come to think of it. The remote control has two modes: forward and backward and Allytech says it’s “good for playing tricks on others.” Word of caution: my big brother once tossed a rubber snake at my mom’s feet and she just about went through the roof. (No wonder she never gave me money at Stuckey’s. My bro ruined it for both of us.) So if the gift recipient plays it safe and steers this mouse away from the non-rodent fan in the house, he can always maneuver it toward the cat or dog. Allytech says it’s a “novel gift for both pets and kids.” On the other hand, maybe everyone in the house has a soft spot for cockroaches. In that case, the Remote Control Cockroach might just be the ticket. But back to the mouse. The mouse requires three AAA batteries — NOT included — and the remote requires two AA batteries, which are NOT included. SSQ: no.
15. Set of Nine Gnarly Teeth
Funny thing about this type of gift. I have a brother in law who is a financial consultant. Biss is his name and he’s a really nice looking guy. He’s almost as good looking as my wife. Anyhow, he sometimes shows up at family functions wearing teeth like these. And he does it with a straight face. I’ve witnessed him being introduced to strangers…when he doesn’t take the teeth out. The stranger, you can tell, feels awkward. Biss doesn’t. So that’s the thing about this funny gift: give it to the kid who either, a) has great self confidence or, b) wants to develop great self confidence. I write all of the above because, really, what much is there to write about this gift? It’s gnarly teeth. Pop ‘em in and smile like you just won the Nobel Prize. They fit over your own real teeth. There are nine different sets of teeth here. The company — those zany folks at Accoutrements — say the teeth are “not for chewing.” Thanks for that, Accoutrements. They also say the teeth are a “great way to get laughs if your real teeth don’t look like these.” It’s a super cheap gift and you know the boy on your Christmas list is gonna love them. Tell them Uncle Biss always has. SSQ: high.
16. Creamed Possum With Sweet Potatoes Can
Another one from the Gross Department of gifts for boys. Before you click away, let us reassure you: there is no possum (or opossum) in this can. In fact, there aren’t any sweet potatoes and there is no coon fat gravy. The can is filled with composted organic material that is not edible. So just to spell it out even more clearly: this kooky gift is all about the label. “Creamed Possum with Sweet Potatoes Garnished in Coon Fat Gravy.” You give that to a boy, and he’ll think of plenty of ways to put that gift to use. (Disclosure here: when I was a kid, I thought we ate aardvark on occasion. Whenever my mom would make a pork roast, I was told we were “having aardvark for dinner.” When I got to sixth grade — where I was a new kid at a new school — Mr. Battles, my science teacher, brought up aardvarks. I shot my hand in the air and told him — and all my new classmates — that we ate “aardvark all the time.” He told me we didn’t. I told him we did. He looked at me with pity and continued his lesson plan. When I told my mother that night what had happened in class, she came clean. Hmm. It occurs to me now that I should have used this to get something at Stuckey’s.) So back to the can of possum. Maybe you’d like to add on a couple of other similar gifts. The can of “Dillo Meatloaf” or the “Can of Unicorn Meat.” Again, neither contains what the labels say. As for the possum, the manufacturer, BluePirate, says it’s for ages 16 and up. I could see that as being reasonable. SSQ: yes.
17. Flying Screaming Monkey Slingshot
The animal theme continues, but this time it’s a (fake) stuffed animal (a monkey) that flies through the air because the monkey, itself, is a slingshot. Let us explain this Christmas present for boys. You take the monkey and insert two fingers from one hand in each of the monkey’s “hand pockets.” At this point, your fingers are forming a slingshot. You pull back — the monkey’s got elastic in its arms — and you let it fly. There goes the monkey, up to 50 feet! In addition to this, the seller of the Flingshot Slingshot Flying Screaming Monkey says that the monkey emits a “screaming sound” by you “banging on its chest.” In fact, the monkey does require a “button” battery, which is included. The monkey is 11 inches long and is made of soft “fur.” This gift also includes a black cape and an eye mask. (For the monkey.) It’s a big discount at 42 percent off. For ages 5 and up. SSQ: probably.
Price: $7.49 (42 percent off MSRP)
18. Electronic Chewbacca Mask
Remember that YouTube gal who conquered Planet Earth for a few short days when she tried a Chewbacca mask on in her minivan? She laughed…and laughed…and laughed so hard, it made her a social media star for awhile. So now it’s time for you to get this gift and give it to the next superstar out there. Or, at the very least, to a boy on your Christmas list. We don’t know if this is made by the same company that made Chewbacca Mom’s mask. (We think it is.) Regardless, the Chewie or Star Wars fan will love this. The mask is made of plastic and when the wearer opens his or her mouth, Chewbacca roars. The wider the mouth opens, the louder the roar. It’s got adjustable straps and instructions are included, as are the four AA batteries. SSQ: nope.
19. Ask Me About My T-Rex T-Shirt
Crazy Dog T-Shirts
An odd concept, but I’m speaking from an adult perspective. Because whomever the adult was (or kid, I don’t know) that thought of this: they’re a genius. The boy you’re buying for is gonna love this FLIP T-Shirt. The idea is that the front of the shirt says “Ask Me About My T-Rex” so, when the obliging participant asks, the kid wearing the shirt flips the shirt up and over his head, revealing the T-Rex face printed on the inside of the shirt. In other words, the kid has suddenly got a T-Rex face. The shirt is pre-shrunk cotton and it comes in four different colors: blue, green, grey and red. Make sure you read the size chart and instructions well. It wouldn’t hurt to read a lot of the reviews on this shirt, too, because several of the reviewers mention sizing issues. And while you’re thinking sartorial gifts for the boy, snag him a pair of these Zmart X-ray socks. They’re just what they sound like (sorta): socks that are printed with the image of X-rays of feet.
Price: $8.99-$18.99 (depending on size/color selected)
20. Jurassic World T-Rex Inflatable Costume
Have you heard of this thing called “the Internet?” Have you, by any chance, seen this guy…ALL OVER THE INTERNET? Yes, this is the famous (for what reason, other than for being famous — hey! Maybe this is a Kardashian T-Rex!) T-Rex suit that people wear and romp around in. It’s certainly zany and kooky and the kid’s gonna love it. This model is from Rubies Costumes, a long-time costume maker that pretty much owns the Halloween costume market. This Jurassic World costume is officially licensed. The costume itself measures five feet tall and 21 inches wide with a 31 inch tail. The head is 14x19x7 inches. Those are the dimensions of the outside of the T-Rex. This model fits kids who wear standard sizes 8 to 10 and are around 54 inches tall. Ages 5 to 7 is the recommendation. Make sure you look at the sizing chart! This costume also comes with a battery operated fan that you install with minimal assembly. You gotta keep your little dinosaur comfy.
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